The internet has urged a woman to contact HR after her colleague ‘nepo-hire’ called her a ‘bimbo’.
Published on On Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman with the anonymous username u/meaian shared her story in order to receive feedback from the “AITA” community. The viral post has over 13,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.
The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she recently started working at a very male-dominated “prestigious” company. She wrote that she is the only woman on her team which is apparently the “most diverse” team as she and a few others are people of color. She said she felt it was a “difficult and isolating” experience as the only woman of color on the team.
The PO explained that she had a white colleague whom she called “M” and that he was the nephew of the Chief Financial Officer (CFO). They started their duties at the same time and described M as an “authorized asshole” and “incompetent”. She wrote that he didn’t particularly like her from the start, that he would try to start arguments, and that he was very competitive. She wrote that it was hard to deal with because she didn’t want to lose her job.
Last month her boss chose her over M to accompany him to a company event and M didn’t take it lightly as he ‘assumed’ he would be invited. She wrote that he’s become a “bigger a**” ever since.
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The OP started explaining where the conflict started. She and another colleague went to lunch together and M “insisted” that he join them. During their lunch, M asked the PO a lot of questions regarding the event that she didn’t want to discuss with him.
He accused her of “manipulating people to get ahead”, which she considered ridiculous. He also insisted their boss wanted to “show off his exotic diversity rental”. The OP explained that she is multiracial and comes from a poor/dysfunctional background and that M told her that she “checks a lot of those boxes”.
She wrote: “We had a fight (he accuses me of having it easy, again RIDICULOUS) until he once again said I’m an obvious diversity ‘bimbo’ I was extremely pissed off and told him he was privileged nepotism – a baby who was literally getting things handed in. I said he would bask in mediocrity forever, blissfully unaware of his incompetence. I also told him that no one would ever say that to his face, so he should be happy that I was doing him a favor (I said that knowing full well that I would lose my job in the worst case).
“Our colleague immediately gasped and told me to apologize to M, who looked surprised and confused more than anything. However, I didn’t apologize and just left. Later, M told me what I said was ‘screwed up’ He claimed he hadn’t insulted me and that I had gone too far Then he said I was ‘lucky’ that he chose not to report it,” she concluded.
In the comments section, the PO confirmed that she was taking the situation to HR and said she was leaving. She wants a recording of M’s behavior for “future reference”.
Newsweek contacted u/meaian for comment.
Newsweek published several articles regarding conflicts between colleagues, including how a debate erupted after a woman excluded a colleague from having a birthday cupcake and a worker was applauded online for insulting his manager in front of his boss.
What to do if you need to report a colleague
Do you find yourself in a situation similar to that of the PO where you think you should report a colleague for his behavior towards you or a certain conflict that you cannot resolve yourself?
According to Indeed, most people file a complaint against someone if they are being harassed, bullied, or discriminated against. Here are some tips on how to file a letter of complaint with your boss or Human Resources:
- Try to resolve the conflict with your colleague yourself
- Make sure your issue is valid enough to file a complaint
- When writing your complaint letter, clearly state the purpose of the letter at the beginning
- Be as descriptive as possible and keep records of interactions with the specific colleague. If possible, note all witnesses and evidence
- Indicate your involvement in the situation by explaining how you tried to solve the problem and how their actions make you feel
- Write down how you plan to resolve the situation
- Before filing the letter of complaint, be sure to make a copy
- File a complaint as soon as possible
Editor’s Response
“He’s too embarrassed to report it because what you said is true,” u/PittieLover1 wrote in the top comment of over 20,000 upvotes, “I’m curious, did your colleague also gasp at the racist and misogynistic things this guy said and ask that he apologize to you? If not, why? [Not the a**hole] and I wish I was a fly on the wall to see nepo-dude’s smug and authoritative attitude crumble.”
“No, she was quiet throughout but I’m not surprised,” the OP replied.
“[Not the a**hole]. But move NOW. Put your butt in HR and take control of this situation. Also take responsibility for what you said. Get everything out in the open and REGISTER. Seriously – get moving now,” u/ElKristy said.
“[Not the a**hole]. And honestly, since other people heard it, I would report it to HR. People can discuss a lot of things, but calling a co-worker a ‘bimbo’ can’t really be disputed,” u/HolyGonzo told the OP.
U/LexGuy12 commented: “[Not the a**hole]. His behavior amounts to both racial and sexual harassment. It’s totally unacceptable.”
“[Not the a**hole], people like that are just not used to being told the truth to their face. They all pretend it’s just “jokes and jokes” until someone answers them. Calling a woman a bimbo is also crossing a line and it’s definitely an insult. And that’s why he doesn’t report,” u/Minachoupinette explained.
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